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The Criticism Thread

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Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
August 23, 2010
Ariel, "Pink Disco" - Gorgeously decadent and luxurious, possibly even better than "Red Diamond", the card where I first fell in love with Ariel (well, if a mixture of like and lust is good enough to be called love). This outfit and the way she tousels her long, ravishing red hair seems to conjure images of falling into a vast, fluffy bed covered in pillows and just indulging forever in softness and silk. Exactly my brand of femininity.

Jana H, "Old School Chum" - She's never looked prettier than in this clip, but still manages to project the same vibe of remoteness and untouchability that I've seen in her other shows (all of which seem to trend more toward artsy than sexy, not that I don't appreciate art, but I have limited use for Virtua Girls which only work for me on a platonic aesthetic basis). She just seems too perfect to be real, an effect I somehow don't get from computer animation and the like, but it's enough to make me imagine her asking me out and me replying with "let's just be friends", a reaction I've never thought I'd find myself expecting to have with any beautiful girl. There's only a hint of seductiveness in this one, which beats none at all in some other, even artsier shows like "Nice Catch", but that only makes it seems as though she's trying and failing to give a come-hither look, rather than running with her otherworldly nature and just trying to look striking, which she does much better.

Melisa, "Little Poem" - I've spoken before of my limited fondness for Melisa; she's extremely pretty and I like the way she looks, but something about her performance just rubs me the wrong way and doesn't work for me. That said, this one is probably her best show according to my standards, and comes closest to being able to turn me on. Perhaps by the next time I see her, I'll have been able to put my finger on exactly why she doesn't work for me, doesn't fill me with instant ravenous lust the way literally thousands of other girls I've seen did within two seconds. (I still probably wouldn't kick Melisa out of bed, but given a choice between her and any other girl on the site, there aren't more than 1 in 3 I'd pass up to be with her, and that reaction honestly puzzles me.)
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
August 24, 2010
Someone commented on a card of Jewel's lately that she has "raw sex appeal". That would explain why she didn't work for me - I don't want raw, I want well-done.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
September 3, 2010
Jana H, "Sweet Evening" - Another lackluster card for Jana; in this one she seems incredibly sad and reluctant, as if she's being blackmailed into putting on this show and can barely keep from plunging into despair. Definitely not a turn-on for me.

Natali Blond, "Coconut Milk" - Naughty Natali remains one of my very favorite Virtua Girls for her absolute shamelessness and demonstrative lust. It irritates me that this gorgeously weird outfit is white, since she has the Street Style show to have already "covered" that color; despite this redundancy I will want the show eventually just because of the interesting garment, nevermind that this luscious nympho is in it. Still, it won't be my top priority out of her shows because of the duplication.

Sandra H, "Sexy GI" - I love the gold bikini, and the bonus of free camo pants is a neat touch as long as their presence is brief; I'll be wanting this at some point. It's curious to note, though, that while I find Sandra very attractive, she never excites me; I appreciate the sight of her but wouldn't cross the street to obtain it, for she just doesn't thrill me the same way that many other girls do. It might suggest that my DNA finds her incompatible as a mate, leaving me only intellectually attracted to her with no hormones to provide a visceral fondness, but I've never known my lecherous instincts to be that picky.
plasonic
De em Dec 2007

1325 post(s)
September 3, 2010
pellucidar...Watchu talkin''bout? lol
There is no Jana H card named "Sweet Evening">>>Eh???
ReBoot.....
titilate
De em Jan 2009

740 post(s)
September 3, 2010
How would he know,, he doesn't buy the cards, just criticizes them,,lol
Oquijan
De em May 2009

1536 post(s)
September 4, 2010
Well, there's a section for comments in every card where you can criticize the shows, but yeah, you need to buy the cards to do that, lol.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
September 9, 2010
The Jana H card is actually called "Sunny Holidays", which just makes the decidedly non-sunny disposition of the girl all the more off-putting.

@Tit - I buy the cards when they're worth buying, and have sunk $200 that way before having to call it quits until I actually have time to watch some of them, not to mention HD space to download them all.

Jewel, "Big Ruby" - I stated before Jewel hadn't impressed me much; this has now been done. She does the finger-bite thing which I love and generally displays at least a hint of seduction in her often rather random-seeming wiggles. Plus her hips are perfect in that low-riding thong. Yum!

Divine, "Emergency" - Aside from the stupid-looking hat, this show was quite nice. Divine needs to fire her hairdresser - the one card of hers I've bought is the only one where she has unstyled hair, and consequently the only one where she actually looks attractive. This one, with the least damage to her hair, is the runner-up, and involves a skimpier costume which looks rather pleasant once she takes off the headpiece.

Jana Cova, "Black Angel" - Random black dress, not really worth doing when I already have a couple of better JC shows. Also she plays the part of the vapid pornstar more in this show, displaying that exagerratiedly playful expression of wide-eyed innocence that annoys me when I know it's utterly false.

Chelsea French, "Bubble Bath" and Olga Barz, "Green Apple" - Both decent shows, but not enough to make me warm to these new girls when I'm already heavily invested in about 70 favorite girls from my existing collection (I have a hard time narrowing down to a top 25). Few of the modern clips are ever likely to interest me as much as the Golden Age of Morgaine and Natali.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
September 13, 2010
Liliane Tiger, "Black Gem" - An absolute must-have; she poses gorgeously in this one, with hypnotically shining earrings drawing attention to her tattoo even while she swirls her ass beautifully. Her performances seem to vary widely - "Scandal" is cold and ugly, while "Brooklyn Nights is far better and this one is superb.

Bianca, "Young Trainee" - Basic black casual wear, nice necklace and shiny lipstick, pleasant but nothing special.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
September 17, 2010
Satin Bloom, "Pure Gold" - I've found that every time I look at SB's card pictures, my impression was "horse-faced", but then she wouldn't be the first girl whose charms are seriously obscured by bad photography on those things (the guy who took all of Monica Sweet's headshots needs to be fired - out of a cannon). So when this came up in my download queue I decided it was worth a look. And the result is mildly pleasant, although I still think she's too far down my priority list to figure in anytime soon. If I got one of her cards, it'd probably be this one, as the golden outfit is very nice. She has a very broad, shiny smile that some might find very attractive, and I might be one of them sometimes - but today it strikes me as very false and artificial, not in a good way. She reminds me of background dancers on some Mexican TV show, the producers of which seem to be a trifle more transparent in their chauvinism than the American marketing crew, who are equally aware that sex sells but at least try to pretend they're being somehow highfalutin' in their exploitation of this. Anyway, SB has the same plastered-on rictus grin going, and it's attractive from a few angles but disturbing from others; she seems extremely unnatural and is clearly only pretending to enjoy herself, although it's a fairly good act. Overall, there is potential here, but not enough so to make me evaluate her more generously.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
September 20, 2010
Mia Hilton, "Caesar's Palace" - I like the platinum wig and the brassy brassiere, but not so much the white skirt. She kinda hams it up in this clip with a lot of weird expressions and maneuvers, so overall this is probably not going to be the next Mia clip I'll want.

Jenny Gregg, "Gorgeous Girl" - Though I'm thoroughly ***** to fishnets and sheer clothes, this one doesn't work for me.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
September 23, 2010
Bernadette, "Pure Malt" - The same outfit as on Diana Doll's "Black Moon"; looks a little better on Bernadette, but she has more exciting costumes.

Lola, "Coffee Break" - To my surprise I didn't care for this one at all; she does well in "Exotic Drink", but in this one her dance consists entirely of these weird wiggly movements that turned me off. Her hairdo makes her ears stick out like a Goblin or a Ferengi, and it looked fairly good from one angle while being upsetting from many others. Very strange and unsatisfying card, which I wish I could recommend for its weirdness but simply isn't very good.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
October 1, 2010
Jenni Gregg, "Cancun Vacation" - This appears to be virtually the same card as "Pure Love"; her outfit is red instead of pink, and she doesn't have the teddy bear, but I can see no other real differences. She displays the same beaming, vaugely childlike smile, dances the same smooth but fairly common hip wiggle - I really don't see much need for both cards to exist.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
October 8, 2010
Ennie, "Black Pearl" - First, a kick in the bum to whoever named this card when Trisha's "Black Pearl Bar" preceded it. That aside, this is a nice show with gogo-style dance moves that nicely accentuate the scooped-out hips of this awesomely absurd outfit. But since it's basic black, it automatically loses half its value to me by virtue of not standing out much from the extremely common LBD shows. I've said before and I'll say again, VGHD needs to use more of the palette.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
October 9, 2010
Ennie, "Black Pearl" - First, a kick in the bum to whoever named this card when Trisha's "Black Pearl Bar" preceded it. That aside, this is a nice show with gogo-style dance moves that nicely accentuate the scooped-out hips of this awesomely absurd outfit. But since it's basic black, it automatically loses half its value to me by virtue of not standing out much from the extremely common LBD shows. I've said before and I'll say again, VGHD needs to use more of the palette.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
October 9, 2010
Miss Roxx, "Interrogation Room" - Jennie Gregg failed to impress me in this outfit a loooong time ago; Miss Roxx now shows me how to make it work. The close-up clip where she fumbles with the buttons isn't very good, but the other two are absolutely perfect, as she struts proudly, clearly certain that nothing is more beautiful and powerful than herself without any need to prove it. A sexy-cop fetish cannot be done better than through such poses. This card is an absolute must-have when I am in the market to buy again; I would pay four credits for it.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
October 12, 2010
Mai, "Beijing Student" - The card picture shows her with a green bra which is entirely concealed except for a tiny peek in the preview clips; I feel a little cheated. She's pretty, but a little on the obviously-pretending side for me.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
November 18, 2010
Karina, "Heartfelt Words" - A very shiny outfit, gorgeous apart from the bell-bottoms which she appears to lose early; her angular eyes intrigue me, and she smiles and seems to be having fun. This would be a must-have...except for that godawful hairdo, which completely and utterly ruins it. Absolutely tragic.
Sofo24
De em Oct 2010

11 post(s)
November 19, 2010
My only problem with the software is the ocasional crashes.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
November 26, 2010
Ennie, "Black Pearl" - First, a kick in the bum to whoever named this card when Trisha's "Black Pearl Bar" preceded it. That aside, this is a nice show with gogo-style dance moves that nicely accentuate the scooped-out hips of this awesomely absurd outfit. But since it's basic black, it automatically loses half its value to me by virtue of not standing out much from the extremely common LBD shows. I've said before and I'll say again, VGHD needs to use more of the palette.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
November 27, 2010
Ting, "Made in Taiwan" - I thought this one looked really sexy up until I took a close enough look to spot the Little Stinker picture on her top. Babies with plungers are not sexy. PASS.

Deny, "***** Phil" - Again, I liked the yellow jumpsuit, but the show was ruined for me, this time simply by way too much prop comedy with the wooden sword. I realize that this was the whole point of the card but I for one would like to see a similar outfit on someone else without the goofy stick-swinging.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
December 15, 2010
Cabiria, "Pink Doll" - Her outfit is cherry-red in the actual show. FAIL. Otherwise she's fairly nice, though not exceptional. It's amusing to note her card hasn't gotten a comment for most of a year; I'm half tempted to buy it out of pity, as she does have nice platinum blonde hair and, ahem, a couple of other features I like. But she's just not exceptional enough to rank with the amount of competition she faces herein.
Sherlock314
De em Aug 2010

6 post(s)
December 25, 2010
Pellucidor I have no problem with your posts as long as most members remember that they are made from viewing trailers. I agree with another member that stated that the true criticism should be reserved for those that have purchased and viewed the entire card. Another thought on criticism if the rating system and how it is misused, I never give a rating above 9 because I feel that a rating of 10 should only be given to a perfect performance. Since perfection is impossible that rating should not be taken as lightly as some members seem to use it.
DMon1981
De em Jan 2010

385 post(s)
December 25, 2010
Hello @Pellucidar. Just read your comment about Ting's Made in Taiwan and I had to check it out again. I feel you need to revise it by looking at the picture for this show. It is a Cherub with a butterfly just to clarify.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
January 1, 2011
@Sherlock: I agree that the rating system is difficult to use effectively; all of the girls are beautiful, and it's hard to say that one of them deserves a 3 even for the most lackluster performance; one's reactions skew to the superlative, either overestimating the dancer or condemning her as worthless, and so mid-range talents are not appropriately valued. Plus the rating has the usual "drop in the bucket" problem of mass democracy, so it's not worth much. The comments are better, but subjective enough to be of limited value (and I really wish they sorted by language so you would only see ones you could read).

@Dmon: Either way, it's a fucking baby, and I don't want to see it.

Mai, "Black Quartz" - This girl and outfit look very stylish, with heavy eye makeup exagerrating the Asian slant-eyed look, black lipstick, sheer black gloves, and the gorgeous tribal tramp stamp tattoo. Unfortunately, I am ***** to pass it up for two reasons: I have too many girls in black outfits and must steer wide of any but the best such looks in future, and while this is one of the best I still think I should get a different outfit for Mai first; plus also, one of the trailer clips features her puffing on a cigarette and blowing smoke, a behavior which I know some guys find appealing but I am utterly repulsed by. If she didn't smoke, I'd probably tumble to this card in spite of the black thing; between the two, I'm ***** to bench this otherwise excellent card.
Pellucidar
De em Oct 2009

113 post(s)
February 18, 2011
Abigaile Johnson, "Words of Love" - A pink nightie, instead of a pink-and-black one like the Abigaile card I've already bought. In this show, she has an extremely red face, as if she was either flushed or sunburned - maybe she took to a tanning booth after filming her first show as an extremely pale waif, or maybe that nightie is really working for her and all the ***** has rushed to her head. Either way, the effect is simultaneously interesting enough that I probably want this card someday, and unattractive enough that that day is not today.

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